Muharram / SAFAR 1424 H April 2003 Volume 16-04 No : 196 Camps \ Workshops

Living Islam

The Etiquette of Dealing with Parents
The Etiquette of Reciting the Holy Quran
Positive and Beneficial Thoughts

• Behave well towards your father and mother and consider this good conduct as a propitious act which will earn Allah’s grace in this world as well as in the next. Next to God, man owes the greatest obligation to his parents. The greatness and value of this obligation towards one’s parents may be realised from the fact that the Holy Qur’an at several points mentions the rights of parents and the rights of God simultaneously at one place.

• Be grateful to your parents. Thanksgiving and an acknowledgement of debt and gratitude are the first duties which a beneficiary owes to the benefactor. It is a fact that the parents are the palpable cause for our existence. Again, it is under their protection and upbringing that we grow up to an age of maturity.

• Always try to make your parents happy. Do not say anything in opposition to their will or temperament which may displease them, especially when they are advanced in age they acquire a peevish and irritable temperament. In this case also tolerate their behaviour in good cheer and do not say anything in anger in response to their demands which may cause them pain and may injure their feelings.

• Serve your parents with heart and soul. If God has afforded you the opportunity to serve your parents, it is in fact a favourable opportunity for you to earn entitlement to Paradise and to win the pleasure of God.

• Be faithful and humble towards your parents. To offer humble obedience to parents implies to pay constant regard to their dignity. Do not assume a haughty attitude towards them, nor treat them with insolence.

• Love your parents and consider this act as a privilege and a source of reward in the eternal world. Hadrat Ibn ‘Abbas relates that the Holy Prophet (Pbuh) observed : “The pious offspring who casts a single look of affection at his parents receives a reward from God equal to the reward of an accepted Hajj.”

• Consider your own goods as the property of your parents and spend your capital on them with an open hand. The Holy Qur’an affirms: They ask thee, what they shall spend. Say what ye spend for good must go to parents.” ( 2:215).

• Even if your father and mother are non-Muslims, treat them well. Continue to pay them respect and devotion and serve them faithfully. However, in case they command you to become a polytheist or indulge in a sinful act, refuse to obey them and sternly repulse their demand.

• Observe special care in looking after your mother. By nature, the mother is weak and more sensitive and needs your better treatment and devotion. Moreover, her favours and sacrifices are comparatively far greater than the father. Hence religion has conceded preferential rights to the mother and has enjoined upon the believers to treat their mothers with special consideration.

• Remember your parents after they have passed away. Offer prayers continuously invoking mercy of God upon your dead father and mother. Fulfill all the contracts and promises made by your parents and carry out their will. If, God forbid, you have been guilty of negligence in treating your parents well during their lifetime, do not despair of God’s mercy.

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• Recite the Holy Qur’an with eagerness and fervour and put all your heart and soul in the recitation. Be sure that love of the Qur’an means love of Allah. The Holy Prophet (Pbuh) affirmed: “The best form of ibadah for my followers is recitation of the Holy Quran.”

• Engage yourself in the recitation of the Holy Qur’an most of the time and never feel weary of reciting the Holy Book. The Holy Prophet (Pbuh) observed: “The man who has studied the Holy Qur’an and recites it daily can be likened to a basket full of musk whose sweet smell is making the whole atmosphere fragrant. And the man who has studied the Holy Qur’an but does not recite it may be likened to a bottle full of musk whose mouth has been sealed with a stopper.” [at-Tirmithi]

• Recite the Holy Qur’an with the sole motive of seeking guidance. Do not recite the Holy Book for the sake of gaining popularity, or establishing a reputation for good harmonious recitation or making a name for piety.

• Take care to be completely neat and clean before you sit down for recitation. Do not touch the Holy Book without performing an ablution (wudhu) and recite it sitting in a clean and tidy place.

• Sit cross-legged with your face towards the Qiblah and recite the Holy Qur’an with your head bowed, with utmost care, complete attention, eagerness of heart and in a proper manner.

• As far as possible recite the Qur’an in a clear and distinct manner and read the letters correctly and utter the syllables in proper style (tajweed) and recite slowly.

• Recite the Holy Qur’an whenever you find time, but do try to recite Holy Qur’an in the course of Tahujjud prayer at dawn. This recitation of the Holy Qur’an entails the reward of highest degree and it should be the aspiration of the true believers to attain the apex of excellence in reward for recitation.

• Do not complete the reading of the whole of the Holy Qur’an in less than three days.

• Recite the Holy Qur’an with the conviction that on this earth this Book is the only source of Guidance for mankind. Do not recite it rapidly but form the habit of reading slowly, distinctly, and with careful understanding of the meanings and try to ponder over the message conveyed to us.

• Recite the Holy Qur’an with full determination to adapt your life to the injunctions of the Holy Book and to reform the pattern of your living in the light of the guidance provided by it.

Source: Etiquettes of Life in Islam, by Muhammad Yusuf Islahi.

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“Always entertain positive and beneficial thoughts, and seek the help of Allah in accomplishing your tasks, and never feel helpless or impotent. If, in spite of your best efforts, something does not work out the way you had planned, then simply say, that was Allah’s Will;

He does what He wills, but never say to yourself, I wish I had done this or that, if it had been so, it would have been different, for such thoughts (are not constructive at all and) only open the door for Satan to act!” It was because of the balanced understanding concerning Divine Will and human choice that the early Muslims were the most active and dynamic in their approach to taking action to improve themselves and the society around them. Their belief in qada’ (Divine Decree) and qadar (pre-determination), instead of making them passive and complacent, acted as a powerful impetus for change. They believed that nothing in the universe can stop them if they believe in Allah and their own power to realise what is beneficial.

The thoughts could be Rahmani (i.e. from God), Shaytani (inspired by the Devil) or nafsani (musings of the self). The thoughts constitute one of the dangers of the path, for it is possible that due to some deviation or error the devil may come to dominate the human being. In the words of the Qur’an:

“ Verily the Satans inspire their friends.......” (An’am 6:121)

They say that the more adept should be able to discern whether the thought is from God or from the devil. The fundamental criterion is to see what a particular thought commands or prohibits; if its command or prohibition is contrary to the dicta of the shari’ah, then it is definitely satanic. The Quran says: “ shall I inform you upon whom the Satans descend? They descend upon every lying, sinful one.” (Shu’araa 26: 221-222)

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