MUHARRAM - SAFAR 1424 H
Volume 17-03 No : 207
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From the heart of a sinner
I wonder how many of you would have caught this above caption for my article as soon as you had a glance on this page. I am a sinner, sinner beyond repair till now. But it has been a great journey to write this article and tell you the truth. I was a blessed person, allah t'aala had given me immense treasures of happiness, good work, respecting parents, elders etc..I just don't know how it happened with me and its been a great disaster from the day I saw the first nude picture in a cyber café way back in August 2000. "A spark Neglected Burns the House". This spark was enough for the shaitaan to ignite me the desire to see porn stuff. But I just don't believe the events that followed up and destroyed my ambitions and aim to succeed in this world and the hereafter. I became addicted to it. I just tried hard to leave it, but all my efforts went in vain. I became blind by my mind and everything changed from then. My story is a real one. I lost all the great treasures given to me by allah t'aala. Many a time I repented, cried as to what I was doing , wasting hundreds of hard-earned money of my parents. When I used to watch, I just don't know how could shaitaan keep me logged on to it while all my efforts were to get rid of porn stuff. What started with a single photo then made me move from one cyber center to other in search of this stuff. I still remember, how I spent a whole day starting 10 a.m and moving from one cyber center to another till 3 pm watching photos and nude films. I just became addicted and began losing everything. The loss was not visible to me at the moment. It was hidden. When I write this article I just cannot express how I am feeling. I was a normal person, but these habits changed the course of my life. A young dynamic, intelligent, vibrant, beautiful, handsome guy now changed to a dull, idiotic, depressed, pale , worn-out human, who would have otherwise been one among the best people today. I have ruined my life. I have no one to blame. Time and again, allah t'aa'la gave me the signs " child don't do this , this is a great sin" but I just don't know how did I succumb to porn stuff. Shaitaan virtually ruled my thinking. Well, my intention is not to write my story, but dear brothers and sisters, I spoilt my life, lost my memory power, lost my faith completely, lost my own standards of living, lost things which I had hard- earned, lost status in the society. I became a real bankrupt human. Shaitaan gave all the inputs and made my virtual defeat at a very young age of 20. Kindly pray to the Almighty to pardon my sins. I have left watching pornography and today, Allah is guiding me back to my life. I just cry in front of Allah seeking his pardon always. My life is spoilt at this young age of 20, I just don't want you to spoil your life. Allah surely destroys the lives and livelihood of those who watch porn stuff. Please leave these bad habits. Attack the shaitaan from the front, not from the back. he surely knows how to make you sin again and again. Dear brothers and sisters, all my views expressed here are only to make you and me realise how we changed our lives watching bad things, ultimately When I see my other friends who were less priveleged, poor and needy, but never went to see porn stuff, I again cry. I beg all of you to leave watching it. I have left it and for the past three years since the year 2000, I have made a vow to Allah never to commit any sin. I lost all my life. I just hope to some time be a person who can come back and become the same young, dynamic, vibrant and handsome guy. But only time knows when I will.
(The writer can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org)
JUST FOR WOMEN
We Muslims strive to fulfill all the rights and duties and try to procure a life of peace, but we miss out on one important thing which forms the foundation of marriage - LOVE
By Sameera Fathima
I have just finished reading a book named "chicken soup for the romantic soul". Though the book may contain some ideas not compatible with our Islamic ones, I felt greatly inspired by the various stories found in it. I felt that the time spent reading such books could be utilised to read an Islamic book. However, I took up this book hoping to find something which I could use to spice up my relationship with my spouse. Each and every story inspired me and ultimately I found that the love between husband and wife grows stronger with age. I realised that age is not a barrier for the romance and passion that we once had or every newly married couple experienced in the early days of their marriage, but which soon seems to fade away and is replaced with anxiety, tension and lack of peace.
Alhamdullilah, as Muslims we all know the importance and sanctity of marriage as well as the rites and duties of husband and wife. Allah (swt) says in chapter 30, verse 21
"And among his signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves ,that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect ."
Allah (swt) also tells us in various places in the Holy Qur'an encouraging believing men and women to marry if they are able. The Prophet of Allah (swt) -the ideal husband, has also taught us how to carry out our family life by living an exemplary life. In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and woman, a contract much honoured and held high in the eyes of Allah (swt). It is a long journey of life to be lived in the spirit of love, understanding, cooperation, harmony, tolerance, tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of one another. A relationship where a man and a woman are made lawful for each other to fulfill their dreams and desires within the boundaries set by Allah (swt).
We Muslims strive to fulfill all the rights and duties and try to procure a life of peace but we miss out on one important thing which forms the foundation of marriage - LOVE. I am not saying that we forget to love or love disappears in the course of time, but what I am trying to say is ,we forget to express our love to the one person who imperatively needs to know ,our partner.
In the course of our life as we go about trying hard to fulfill our various duties and exercise our rights starting from looking after the kids, taking care of the home,trying to make the children obey us, working hard to bring food to the table and so on , we forget each other, I agree each and every duty is of utmost importance and that we cannot forego or compromise on any one of it. So is expressing our love for one another. We forget to talk to each other,allocate time for each other,share our dreams,hopes and interests. The love and romance which once prevailed seems to fade away giving place to anxiety ,sorrow and depression- lack of mental peace. It might not be the case with everyone, but it is to more than 1/2 of the married couples who seem to lose the passion which once existed giving place to monotony.
Love ,passion and romance is an absolute need at every age to lead a peaceful life of harmony, trust and compassion .We have to express our love and find ways and means of bringing back the excitement and affection into our lives. In a world of strain and pressure, we desperately need to boost our spirits in our personal life so that we can concentrate and work on much bigger issues like pleasing Allah (swt) and working for the hereafter. We should be pleased with each other and in turn live a life which makes Allah pleased with us. Inshallah, when we love and express it and be loved and be showered by it ,our desire to protect and care for our loved ones will increase. As a result we will see that we ourselves and our loved ones are saved from the hell fire and find ways and means to prevent it..
Now let us start practising expressing our love in our day to day life. Here are some tips to start with
* Giving cards and gifts (it need not be extravagant)
* Complimenting both the appearance and the work done (often but not in exaggeration)
* Holding hands often and looking into each other's eyes when talking (need not lower our gaze when looking in to our spouse's eyes)
* Listening when spoken to attentively.
* Try reading chicken soup for the romantic soul ( if possible)
* Allocate some time for each other (just to talk , share feelings and contemplate)
* Go for walks, switch off the idiot box.
* Share chores, help out with the work.
* Read books together and talk about current affairs too.( women do like to know what happens around the world)
* Read the life of Rasullulah (saw) and try to imitate him.
* Last, but not least thank Allah (swt) for giving each other and seek his help to make each other compatible and to put love in our hearts forever.n
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