A Friend’s Marriage

Q: Many years ago, my friend S. got married to an already-married man who she met through the Internet. She had divorced from her husband years earlier and had a daughter too. She would share almost everything about her life with me and I would give her a patient hearing. When she told me that she was getting married to this man who already had a wife and son, I had endorsed it because all the while I felt my friend had a raw deal in life and she deserved happiness. But years down, now I feel I did wrong by endorsing S’s action. When I realized my error, I stopped interacting with her. I hope God forgives me.
S. Faraz

Sadathullah: The past is stopping you to take action in the present. This incompletion of the past will haunt you. If you want to be free from this guilt, you must meet your friend and express to her that you are regretting having consented to her second marriage and not being authentic in telling her what the consequences of her entering into this relationship might be. By avoiding her and stopping interacting with her, you will not be set free. The solution to your suffering is in taking this bold step to share with her what you think.
However, I want to ask you, if at that time, if you had told the truth, would your friend have listened to you and not got married? Many of us make life decisions on feelings and moods and not on reality. As a result, we get into problems and face their consequences—and this is the major cause of suffering. Your cutting off from your friend is not the solution.
(Readers are welcome to send questions based on real life situations to [email protected])

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