Netflix’s provocative series Adolescence has sparked critical dialogue around the psychology of modern teenagers, especially focusing on incels a subculture of young men who identify as “involuntarily celibate” and often turn personal rejection into misogyny, resentment, and even rage. Though presented through a Western lens, this issue finds strong echoes in India where patriarchy, social alienation, and toxic masculinity are all too real.
Who Are Incels and Why It Matters
Incels are not just frustrated young men. They are often emotionally neglected individuals who feel rejected by women and develop a sense of entitlement to affection or intimacy. This mindset can quickly spiral into hatred, blame, and sometimes violence a dangerous concoction of internal pain and external blame.
From an Islamic viewpoint, this isn’t just a psychological issue it’s a spiritual and moral crisis.
Islam offers a balanced and compassionate approach through self-restraint, gender respect, and emotional responsibility. Allah commands believers to “lower their gaze” and preserve their chastity (Qur’an 24:30-31). Relationships are rooted not in entitlement, but mutual respect, intention, and faith.
Puberty and Personal Accountability
In Islam, puberty marks the beginning of taklif personal accountability. Along with physical and emotional changes, it’s the moment a youth is spiritually awakened and expected to uphold salah, fasting, and upright conduct.
Young boys often wrestle with desire and identity. But tarbiyah (moral upbringing), when delivered early and with empathy, guides them to manage desires through taqwa (God-consciousness) rather than repression or indulgence.
Consider the hadith where a young man asked the Prophet (pbuh) for permission to commit zina. Instead of condemnation, the Prophet appealed to his sense of empathy and made dua for his purification. This is the prophetic model: compassion over criticism.
The Masculinity Crisis: Rejection, Jealousy, and Ego
Psychiatrist Dr. Nishant Goel notes that many incel-like tendencies stem from low self-esteem, jealousy, and social rejection, often in households that normalize male dominance and objectify women.
Islam, by contrast, fosters modesty, humility, and emotional discipline. Jealousy (hasad) is condemned in the Qur’an as spiritually destructive. A healthy Muslim identity is built on character, not conquest.
Toxic Influencers and the Social Media Vacuum
Figures like Andrew Tate have filled the moral void for many young boys, promoting a hyper-masculine, misogynistic ideal. The absence of meaningful Islamic education and male role models makes boys vulnerable to such narratives.
The Prophet (pbuh) warned: “A man follows the religion of his close companion…” (Tirmidhi). We must ask: who are our sons following online?
Spiritual Equality, Not Male Superiority
Some incels misuse religion to justify male dominance, but Islam unequivocally rejects such distortions. The Qur’an says: “The most honored in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you” (Qur’an 49:13). Men and women are spiritual equals, accountable before Allah for their deeds not their gender.
Can Women Be Incels?
Yes, though the label is male-dominated, women also face rejection and isolation. Their pain often turns inward into sadness, anxiety, or self-harm rather than outward aggression. Again, the need is for emotional literacy and spiritual grounding.
Healing the Incel Mindset: An Islamic Response
1. Start Conversations Early
Talk to boys and girls about emotions, attraction, respect, and consent. Don’t let YouTube or Instagram shape their worldview.
2. Strengthen Tarbiyah
Teach boys that Islamic manhood is defined by kindness, humility, and integrity not control or dominance.
3. Create Safe Online Spaces
Develop platforms where youth can ask questions, share feelings, and find mentorship rooted in Islamic values.
4. Address Pornography and Media Influence
Don’t just ban educate. Teach what healthy, halal intimacy looks like and the emotional toll of objectification.
5. Highlight Real Role Models
Celebrate men who embody emotional intelligence, God-consciousness, and service to family and society.
Conclusion: Beyond the Label
The incel phenomenon is not just a social media trend it’s a reflection of spiritual emptiness, emotional confusion, and broken masculinity. Islam offers a path of reform that is practical, compassionate, and powerful.
Let’s raise a generation of boys who are emotionally secure, spiritually aware, and grounded in respect for themselves and others especially women. Because in the sight of Allah, it’s not dominance or desire that elevates you but your taqwa, your compassion, and your akhlaq.
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