Parent’s Day Out-Part 1
I usually travel around the country and ask parents, What do you do for your child? The most common answers I receive are, “we pick and drop our children to school,” or mothers say we pack their lunch boxes or revise their homework. Fair enough. This is something any project manager can do as well! What is it that you are doing for your child as Parents?
By Dawood Vaid
All parents need a little advice now and then. Unfortunately the children do not come with an operating manual. We begin a series of articles on parenting basics like discipline, homework help, and how to talk to your child about tough subjects, like pocket money, peer pressure and friends.
Plus, we focus on relationships between spouses and in families.
This article is all about self – discovery. About discovering the Parent in Us.
I usually travel around the country and ask parents, What do you do for your child? The most common answers I receive are, “we pick and drop our children to school,” or mothers say we pack their lunch boxes or revise their homework. Fair enough. But isn’t this an administrative job. This is something any project manager can do as well. What is it that you are doing for your child as Parents?
Let us begin with one of the most beautiful chapters on Parenting.
Surah Luqman, along with a brief summary of this surah. It is a Makki surah. What was happening in Makkah? Were Muslims safe and secure? Imagine a place where it was criminal to be a Muslim, Allah is sending down verses on a father-son relationship.
This goes on to emphasize, how important this topic is for Allah. He wanted, despite the tortures and hardships in Makkah, the family to realize the importance of supporting each other.
Another very interesting aspect is – Allah speaks about a father.
Why a father and not a mother?
We compare the ratio of mothers to father in almost all our workshops and the findings are similar – Mothers are always more, eager to learn while father is not even present!
Now let us find out, who is Luqman?
Sa`id bin Al-Musayyib said to him: “Do not be upset because you are black, for among the best of people were three who were black: Bilal – the muezzin of Rasulullah, Mahja` the freed slave of `Umar bin Al-Khattab, and Luqman the Wise, who was a black Nubian with thick lips.’’
According to most of the Mufaseers, Luqman was a black Ethiopian slave. The Qur’an does not even mention his colour or ethnicity. In the eyes of Allah, Taqwa is what matters. The Messenger of Allah said: “Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah), the supplication of the father (parent) for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveller. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi – Sahih]
Fathers are essential to a child’s growth. Be a loving father in
your child’s life, not a successful businessman!
Allah begins introducing Luqman as: And indeed We bestowed upon Luqman Al-Hikmah, Give thanks to Allah.
What is Hiqma?
According to the scholars, Hiqma is a unique blessing that is bestowed on people chosen by Allah himself. The best tafseer of the Qur’an is the Qur’an itself. Let us look at an another verse where Hiqma is mentioned.
In Surah Nahl Chapter 16 verse 125: “Call all to the way of your Lord with Wisdom (Hiqma)”
Who is Allah talking about here? It is about Prophet Ibrahim
Let us recall the story of Prophet Ibrahim where he goes to meet the king Nimrod. Ibrahim tells Nimrod that Allah can give life and death.
Nimrod calls two of the prisoners who are serving life imprisonment and sets one free and hangs another. Nimrod claims he can gives life and death as well! What does Ibrahim do? Does he get into this argument? No, no, technically you are wrong brother! Actually this is not this way. Has not most of our Dawah become like this. Our arguments are based on logic while here the best way was wisdom.
Ibrahim says something so simple yet so challenging.
“My Lord can make the sun rise from the East. Can you make it rise from the West”? End of argument. Nimrod is stumped! This is Hiqma
Parenting Lesson: Do not argue with your children especially the teens. Take another approach. You end up bitter after argument.
How do we get this Hiqma?
The next ayah explains, Give thanks to Allah. Such a beautiful analogy, Allah is saying that the first thing you should be doing for becoming parents is thank Allah. It is indeed such a big blessing to be a Parent.
Ask those who are not blessed with children or who lost their child to an illness or accident, and you would realize that just by being blessed with a child is a Nyemah (blessing) and even if we spend all our life thanking Allah in Sajdah, we would not be able to thank Him enough!
(The writer can be reached at [email protected])