HomeReaders Space

Reconsidering Our Perspective

Big Fat Muslim Marriages: Show-Off Business
A Muslim Woman’s Kindness
Time for Clean Administration

Think about it! Some people arrange grand marriages as they have
a lot of money-why do we shower them with expensive gifts?

By Khadija F. Motorwala
Sometimes we come across a situation where we realize that some things are followed just as part of tradition, but do we know why we follow such a tradition? Has anyone told us about it? It is time to question ourselves to find better things to do in the world for the betterment of society.
Recently, I visited a young lady who has two kids. She is tagged as a widow because her life partner passed away after long ailment. It was quite painful to see her sitting in one corner of the room, where people would come to meet her and, as per an ancient tradition, hand over a small amount to her.
I wondered why a woman should sit in a corner of a room, dressed in white and sobbing all the time, and people walked in the house to sympathize with her. I wonder if we could have empathised with her and helped her while she was in actual need of money, when her husband was suffering from long sickness. But no one came to meet her or greet her then.
She continued to say that when her husband was alive and they were in real need of funds she had no one to help her as the pillar of her house was in bed and couldn’t work”¦
Big, Expensive Gifts When I heard her talk, I said to myself, “Isn’t it time that we as a society reshape our perspective?” For instance, when some of us attend marriage functions, we give big, expensive gifts. However, such expensive gifts are not a requirement as the wedding can be done in a simple way and money that might otherwise have been spent on the function could be used for a better purpose.
Social conventions and taboos lead us to attend marriages of rich people and shower them with extraordinary gifts in exchange for an exotic buffet!
Think about it! People make grand marriages as they have a lot of money, but why do we over shower them with expensive gifts? I’m sure if we put a break to this tradition of spending huge amounts on their gifts, marriages will be simplified!
Now, let’s consider the state of mind of a sick person, who is in bed and can’t earn money. This sickness wasn’t his choice. He wasn’t even prepared for it. A sudden blow brought things in his life to a standstill. How do I get money for my treatment? What about my basic necessities? These types of worries trouble him internally, and gradually, physical sickness becomes mental and emotional sickness also.
We should help people like this who are in need, not just through money but also through mental and emotional support to the family. We need to shift our focus from ‘me’ to ‘we’. We should see a sick person as our fellow human being, a part of us.
Remember, in life, what you give you get back. If we are helping someone in need, maybe sometime in our life we will have someone’s helping hands reach out to us.

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