Our true character is reflected in our children. Often, we mistakenly blame them for behavioral issues without recognizing that the solution lies in improving ourselves. Admitting our faults to those advising us on parenting can be challenging, but seeking forgiveness and guidance from Allah is straightforward. Allah, who blessed us with children, provides countless ways to guide us in parenting when we earnestly seek His help.
The journey begins by strengthening our connection with Allah through Salah and Dua. Sincere efforts to please Allah, including avoiding Haram (unlawful) actions and embracing Halal (lawful) practices, foster Allah-consciousness. This dedication transforms our character and positively influences our children.
As Imam Ghazali noted, those whose earnings involve bribes or dishonest practices often see their children’s behavior affected by their disregard for Allah. A child who feels a strong connection and bond with their parents will likely be more obedient. This bond is rooted in the parents’ relationship with Allah. By nurturing our connection with Allah, we create a loving and respectful environment for our children.
The Prophet (peace be upon Him) stated, “Every child is born on the true nature but his/her parents make him/her either a Christian, Jew, or Magian.”
A historical example highlights the impact of good upbringing. Shaykh Suhail bin Abdullah Tusteri shared how, from a young age, he practiced remembering Allah as advised by his maternal uncle. His dedication to this practice led him to excel spiritually and academically. His commitment to remembrance and education illustrates the profound effects of role modeling and spiritual discipline.
Imam Ghazali emphasizes that proper role modeling can lead our children toward paradise. While we may struggle to maintain such discipline, we can at least strive to abandon bad habits and adopt the Sunnah in our daily lives. Conversely, if children observe their parents engaging in negative behaviors like gossip or character assassination, they are likely to imitate these actions, facilitating their own sins.
Effective Tarbiyah (nurturing) is a long-term investment that yields benefits when we are weak and in need of support. A child who has been nurtured well will not only support us but will guide us through life’s challenges.
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