When I Was Like a Body Without Soul
This was my dream which I thought I could share with
you as it may have a lesson for you as it did for me!
By Shaban Ali Nadvi
It was the mid-August 2018. Those days, I was most inclined to Allah. I continued to offer five times Salat a day along with the Tahajjud that I rarely missed. In the night, before 12 o’clock, I used to fall asleep at any cost, because, if I delayed sleep, I found my eyes glued together. However, I tried to open them widely, but they seemed to be more tired and unable to open-sometimes I would skip Fajr.
One night, having watched some videos about the outstanding features of Fajr and Isha Salat, I slept. I am not lying or trying to blow my own trumpet. I do not know what was the reason behind my nightmarish dream that made me cry and repent about my whole life. I consider that night the greatest and most precious moment of my life. I think that night was destined especially by Allah for me to show the reality of which I was unaware or ignorant. Allah wanted me to realize and tell me what the hell was going on in my life.
That night I dreamt that l lay on a bed as the others lie. I was staring off into the ceiling. Suddenly, some angels in the form of people appeared before me. Seeing them, my whole body got numb and an extreme tingle shot through my spinal cord. The energies inside me disappeared. The organs proved to be stubborn to work even as if the cells had died. I was a body without a soul. I was like a statue that needed to be vitalized. The angels stood all around me. I got perplexed finding myself in the state of unease. I thought about why these angels had come to me while I am young and supposed to live more. They said rudely: “We have come to take your soul, until here you were destined”. I missed some heart beats. I exhaled and inhaled readily trying to breathe as much I could. When their sentence hit my ear, lying on the bed, I analyzed my whole life. I found nothing to present Allah as good deeds. My past appeared the darkest. I was stunned to death about what to do and where to escape as I am being taken to the unseen world, where only the coins of the good deeds work.
Tears of Repentance
While I have skipped many Salats and lied a lot and teased people and ignored the Divine injunctions, my eyes welled up with tears of repentance. No one was there to help me: only I was with my good deeds or bad deeds. Many times I thought, it might be a dream. Very often I tried to disappear or escape from the angels, but I failed. I was motionless. No one could have saved me from that condition. I cried more and more, because, the moments of my life had ended.
Later what happened I do not remember, but as I got up earlier for the Tahajjud, I found my eyelid paining. My eyes seemed to be heavier. Getting up hurriedly, I made ablution and stood in respect in front of Allah. Offering the Tahajjud, I cried for half an hour, thanking Allah for what He had showed me as the reality and made me alert about the Hereafter. That day seemed blurring to me and most of the hours, I remained silent and sought Allah for good in the Hereafter.
This was my dream which I thought I could share with you as it may have a lesson for you as it did for me! We should not rely on our life. When, where and how it would cheat us, we do not know, because the validity of our lives is untold.
(Shaban Ali Nadvi is currently a student of PG Diploma in Applied Islamics at Yenepoya university Mangaluru. He has done his PD diploma in community service in Mysuru and is a graduate in Arabic from Nadva [Lucknow]. He also attended the Discover Yourself Workshop in 2018 at Darul Umoor, Srirangapatna)