While many Muslim parents agree that becoming a parent is a privilege and a blessing from Allah, they also concur that it is one of the most challenging, unpredictable, and complex responsibilities in which they are entitled to partake. And thus, it comes as no surprise to see even the finest amongst us struggling at the thought of living up to the obligation of parenthood in line with Islamic guidance.
The truth is, from the moment we step into parenthood, the jittery feeling of uncertainty compels us to conceive and envisage a beautiful portrait of a submissive child. From there, we begin to domineer our children. This tendency is bolstered by pressurizing and overburdening them, by setting the bar of expectations too high. In reality, this severity is much too often backed by deep-rooted practices in the way we were brought up as children, ourselves.
When children are young, they are easier to mould, therefore parents like to make optimum use of their early childhood years to impose their personal preferences – likes and dislikes – without much care about what the child is interested in. They overlook the fact that children are unique and have their own identities, which deserve to be respected and acknowledged in order to promote their holistic development.
So, when it comes to nurturing a love for Allah, some parents take advantage of their children’s naiveté and use the emotion of fear to control their children’s responses and behaviors into submission towards Allah. They forget that a child’s brain does not process things in a manner similar to an adult’s brain. Children are at that stage where their conscious mind is still trying to develop a sense of active imagination based on their analogy of reality and make-believe. When it comes to teaching about Allah, these parents often introduce and reinforce Allah’s characteristics in a punitive way during the most critical time of their developmental life. But when Allah’s loving characteristics are replaced with fearful ones by the parent, it is harmful to a child’s spiritual and emotional development and can lead to long-term consequences. This strong fear can also develop in other ways as the child becomes an adult where other emotional issues may manifest.
(Source: https://www.soundvision. com/article