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MOTHER’S DAY: My Mother, My Best Childhood Friend

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K. Rahman Khan

One special thing about my mother was that her every child felt the same attachment, and my mother gave same attention to all her ten kids.

Truly unlucky are those who have not felt the warmth of a mother’s affection. And the world is filled with many such fools who forget and neglect their mother when they grow up, for they take her love for granted. Even after that, a mother never holds grudges against her child, for she holds an immeasurable amount of forgiveness and love in her heart, which only shows how great mothers are and can be.
Mother’s Day (May 9) is an occasion to greet one’s mother, and for those whose mothershave left this world,to reminisce about them and their contribution in one’s life.
Though there is no tradition in Islam of celebrating such days, such type of celebrations on human relations are of recent origin and an initiative of the United Nations and other international organisations. I feel such initiatives should be taken in a positive way.

Rahman Khan’s parents greeting him on becoming Chairman of Karnataka Legislative Council

My mother died around 30 years ago,and nowI have only memories of her, which I cherishevery day of my life. The roles of a mother and a father are different in every person’s life. A mother’s role is, in a sense, more demanding than afather’s because not only does she conceive a child for nine months in her womb, but she also takes complete care of the child rightfrom the time of its birth. The father’s role in a child’s development in the initial years is often very negligible, except supporting the wife. In Islam and in allother religions, a mother’s role is on a higher pedestal.
As a child, I was more attached to my mother. My mother gave birth to 12 children, out of which two died in infancy. She brought up all her ten children without showing any signs of stress. She was a simple woman. She and her elder sister became orphans ata very young age and were brought up by their uncle.She was not educated, yet she was anextraordinary woman, full of love and compassion. She doted on me and taught me kindness and empathy.She did not go to school, but she could sign her name in Urdu. Though she did not have any school or college degree, she was truly empowered, as a mother and wife. Her generosity and warmth taught me to respond to people without the barrier of an academic qualification.
My father was a strict disciplinarian and wanted his children to adhere to his discipline. All of us were afraid of getting close to him. We missed our father’s intimacy, and that made us closerto my mother. She would get scolded by my father for spoiling us due to her excessive affection. She never lost her temper, and I do not remember even a single instance of her being harsh to me or beating me for any mistake.
Even while I was inhigh school I was under my father’s eagle eye. He wanted me to excel in studies. But with the help of my mother,I often skipped out to play badminton and football amidst the busy schedules of studies and tuitions.
One difference between my father and mother was that my father never used to show his affection openly though he was very affectionate. He felt that by openly showing affection the children would be spoilt. My mother had abundant affection not only towards her children but to everyone else who was close to her.
At the age of 9 I had to stay in a strange atmosphere in a village, leaving the company of my mother for my studies for middle school. I am unable toexpress my agony of remaining away from my mother. I used to come home every week, and I cannot explain the joy I experienced then!I used to stay with my mother for only two days. This went on for four years.
I returned from the village to stay at our home for high school. But after my high school, I had to go to college and again faced the same separation from my mother. Remaining away from my mother for a long time created in me stronger bonding and love for her. One special thing about my mother was that her every child felt the same attachment, andmy mother gave same attention to all her ten kids. Whenever my mother visited Bangalore, she would bringsnacks prepared by her for me,which I eagerly awaited to munch!
My mother’s kindness and compassion influenced me greatly. When we talk about women’s empowerment, some people think this is only about women being in ‘good’ jobs or ‘powerful’ positions in society. But I think that women who work at home, taking care of their house and children, can also be highly empowered because of their organisational skills, their ability to keep everyone together and their role in bringing affection, kindness and joy into the home. My mother was the best example of this. She would pamper all of us.
It would have been quite a task for my mother, I realize as I look back now, to take care of so many children and do a wonderful job of it. But my mother did this without any frustration or anger and with a great deal of love and understanding. I have inherited her patience and positivity in the face of challenges, and this has been an invaluable asset in my sometimes-turbulent life
It is simply impossible to describe in words my mother’s contribution in my life. Some major qualities of my mother that influenced me are her humility and her care and concern for relatives and the poor. She was very innocent, and thatwas always visible on her face. Sometimes, mothers-in-law may not beon good terms with their daughters-in-law, but in my mother’s case, she treated all her six daughters-in-law as her own daughters.
Mothers have always made a difference and will continue to do so and this I see in my extraordinary and supportive partner, my wife Ayesha, with her quiet and reassuring presence and unwavering moral support through the many twists and turns in my life’s journey. As a young mother she did a super job of parenting and educating all our children with love. In the beginning of my career, I was struggling to establish myself, and my initial years of CA practice were exceedingly difficult. I had no time to take care of the schooling of our children. My wife managed all of that herself. She never lapsed in her responsibilities as mother and wife.
A strong and caring woman is the very foundation of a family, and I am really blessed that Ayesha plays that role to perfection in our extended family. She is thoughtful about involving everyone in family gatherings and celebrations. These gestures really weave together the family fabric and make for a beautiful and blissful family life.
Present-day parents have lot to learn from mothers like my mother for a happy family. Our very existence is because of our parents. The truth is, our parents are a most indispensable part of our life. We must respect them and love them for their invaluable light of love and wisdom in our life.Serving them is a most pious act as per our culture and tradition. So, today let’s take a pledge that we will always listen to them and will never hurt them, through actions or words. We should always love and respect our parents and help them when they need it.
I take this occasion to wish ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ to all mothers!