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Lowering the Gaze
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With reference to your article,”Intolerance is a sure way to destruction,” in December 2021 issue, it’s half baked, and you have not culminated justifiably. You have done an injustice. Muslims don’t have an intolerance, whereas it’s their misled, impatient, and agile reaction you should have used. Not the word Intolerance. You have used the word Intolerance in the wrong context and have done more disservice to the community. Anyone’s violence is to be condemned, but your approach and culmination of the story are very disappointing.

Syed Iqbal Ahmed

December issue of IV has addressed many interesting topics. I wish I could fulfill my inner desire to comment on all.

A short article titled “Islamic parenting guidance, perfect means of upbringing” is important that Maryam Qarehgozlou addresses.

Every child’s birth is a happy occasion in a family. In these times, children are being raised by parents with more Duniya in mind than Deen. When parents give less importance to instilling the basic learnings of Islamic teachings during their innocence, they are bound to have less moral and social values. These are quite obvious in our families and many around us. We all know a sound and robust building cannot be built on a weak foundation.

Even though there are many books written on a child’s upbringing, as Muslims, we have to mould the child’s character in tandem with the teachings of Islam, in the light of the Quran and Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (saw).

How do we do it? The author has rightly pointed out that the parents have to be their role models. Babies are born innocent without any affiliation but definitely affection towards their parents. As said,”child’s first school is mother’s lap.” It is a natural tendency of the baby to copy the parents. The child’s innocence doesn’t understand “what” or “why.” The only thing that child understands is what my mother or father does. Good or bad, it gets registered and imprinted in the blank mind of the child. Due to the natural affinity, parents have the most significant impact on a child’s behavior. Whatever child sees and observes, he will absorb it and repeat it in his life what he learned from his parents.

This is why child psychologists look back into the child’s home environment and upbringing when they see behavioural problems. It is rightly said,”Children are the mirror image of their parents,” at least most of the time.

The author points out that children should be handled with love and care. They are at the tender age of learning by trying and exploring their surroundings. Mistakes and wrongdoings will be a natural outcome. Instead of screaming and scolding something that the child doesn’t understand, the child may not go well. The parent must reprimand and explain to the child what was done wrong and why it is unacceptable. The child must learn to apologize when something is done wrong by saying “Sorry.” There should be a clear understanding among children of what is good and acceptable and bad and unacceptable.

The author has gone deep into child psychology, explaining the rewards and repercussions of right and wrong raising children. It is the parents who are responsible for their children’s moral and social behaviour.

I want to add that society and the Islamic environment also play a big role in raising a child. Children should be helped to build an affinity towards the Masjid right from early childhood. It should be up to Father to take his children along with him and choose the end of the row to be with his children explaining the etiquettes and manners while they are in the Masjid. It is also essential that management and elders tolerate children’s presence and not be rude. On the contrary, they should be greeted and welcomed by elders with a big smile on their faces. What we expect in teens has to be seeded at an early age.

As the writer suggests at the end, indeed! A well-raised child will be an asset to both the family and society.

Qazi Minhaj Azher, USA