In my first article, I have highlighted the reasons and facts that help us understand, “who is responsible for broken marriages”. Now let me throw some light on the next big question across the globe, which is “what is the reason that leads to broken marriages”.
“Marriage is supposed to be a holy bond between a male and a female and their families and they are meant to last forever.” This has become an understatement. Now, for the present generation marriage is just a temporary deal, the moment conflicts and discomforts start in a marriage the couple begins to lose interest, ignore each other, blame each other, ridicule each other and finally end up in divorce.
All breaking off a marriage is painful yet it’s necessary for the survival of partners as an individual. Broken marriages bring in lots of financial stress, social trolling, mental trauma, physical hardship, and agony to the entire family.
In earlier years, the divorce rate was higher in love marriages, however in the current scenario it is not just the type of marriage but there are many other reasons for divorces.
Let me take you through some very important and prominent factors that lead to divorce.
1. Forceful marriage: Even today in India we have almost 60-70% of forceful marriages, and the couples pushed into these marriages are all mostly of an age group of under 25 years. The couple is neither prepared mentally nor physically for a marriage. Once the couple is forcefully married, they treat this marriage as a compromise, they will not be able to give their 100% to this relationship and many marriages break within a span of 6 months to 1 year. Marriage is just a cage for them and they want to get out of it at the earliest.
2. Independence of women: One of the major reasons for divorce across the world today is the independence of women, the smartphone and social media are giving out a lot of knowledge and awareness about the rights and independence of women. Higher education and excellency in career growth has given women immense financial independence and this is one of the greatest reason that is leading to a higher level of divorces in urban cities. In earlier days women use to compromise in their abusive and destructive marriages mainly due to financial dependency on their husbands, but those days are gone and it’s history now.
3. Lack of equality and commitment: A successful marriage requires commitment and compromise from both partners, unfortunately even if one of them fails the marriages break. Even today, men dominate marriages. Right from a very young age, men in India grow up with the mindset that they are the decision-makers and superior ones in a relationship. On the other hand, a woman, right from her childhood is been trained to be obedient and submissive towards their husband. However, this is not working anymore, since women are well-educated and financially independent they demand equality and respect from their husbands.
4. Cheating/unfaithful spouse: Cheating on your partner has become a common trend now. It is no more an act of shamefulness or embarrassment. Be it a man or a woman it has become their right to get close to anyone outside their marriage and they easily get away by blaming each other for this. Cheating is a choice, no matter what if you are not happy with your spouse for whatever reason, you should have the courage to tell him/her about it and finish this chapter, and then move on to a new chapter. Being married to one person and having a relationship with another person is a shameful sin.
Unfaithfulness in a relationship leads to a breakdown of trust, jealousy, bitterness, and a weakening of self-worth, it creates irreconcilable differences.
5. Intimacy: Most marriages die because the sex life disappears between couples. A good sexual relationship leads to emotional intimacy and closeness, if you are hoping to improve your physical relationship, you need to first work on your emotional connection. Focus on meeting your partner’s needs and communicating your own needs lovingly and respectfully. Holding hands, hugs, and tender touches are great ways to affirm your love for your partner and improve your intimacy level.
6. Effective Communication: Communication is the foundation of any relationship, good & effective communication improves the quality of a marriage. Many couples ignore the fact that they need to have healthy & effective communication to sustain a happy married life. Communication is not just about being verbal, it is also about non-verbal actions or gestures that can make your partner feel secure, loved & cared for when they are in a bad situation.
Communication is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively leads to resentment and frustration for both, influencing all aspects of a marriage. Many times, the little things can trigger bigger issues in a relationship.
7. Incompatibility: Every person is different, hence their likes, interests, lifestyle, expectations, viewpoints, and preferences will differ too. In the initial stage of a relationship, both partners will try to compromise and adjust with each other to make the marriage last long. Nevertheless, this is only possible when both partners are mutually willing to do it. However, few couples are completely incompatible, and such marriages will end soon.
8. Involvement of a third person: A marriage is an agreement between two people. Nevertheless, Indian marriages are influenced, supported, and inspired by their families, too much interference from a family member, colleague/friend or relative will defiantly create many misunderstandings and negativity between couples and the marriages dissolve. In-lawsare the major reason that can lead to divorces. It is intolerable and an offensive act.
9. Domestic Violence: Domestic violence includes physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse by a partner. Most of us have an assumption that domestic violence occurs only in slum areas, ironically domestic violence occurs even in highly qualified and well-civilizedso-called high society people too. It’s offensive.
10. Financial Issues: Money is crazy it can turn around tables. In the present scenario, the couple must discuss their future financial plans. Today men and women both work and both are capable of spending for their families.
11. Infidelity: One of the most important purposes of marriage is to produce springs; the procreation of humankind is continued through marriage. Children stabilize the foundation of a family, as they are blessings in disguise for every married couple. If one or both partners are suffering from any infidelity, such marriages will break.
12. Addiction: Addiction only leads to destruction, one or both partners suffering from addiction to alcohol, drugs, or something else, will end up breaking a marriage bond. Living with an addict and supporting them can be extremely difficult, and eventually, the marriage collapse.
13. Unexpected situations in life: Life is a roller coaster, and undoubtedly, every marriage has to go through the difficulties of it. Most relationships are tested during these tough phases of life, and not all of them survive. To deal with such tough situations one or both partners have to be mentally and emotionally strong to handle such situations and hold on to each other.
14. Physical or mental health issues: An ongoing physical or mental health issue suffered by one or both partners will cause intolerable stress in a relationship. One needs to have a lot of patience and commitment to take care of his/her partner who is physically or mentally sick for a very long time, it’s not at all an easy task, hence most partners give up after a certain point and this leads to divorce.
15. Religious beliefs: Religion plays a vital role in any relationship. If a person is a righteous human being and a good follower of his/her religion then there is no room for any disappointment or failure in their relationship. However, while choosing a life partner one has to make sure that their partner has the same level of or at least a similar level of religious beliefs. Praying together makes a relationship stronger and such a spiritual bond lasts forever.
I have explained the most common and important factors that lead to divorce. The above list can go on and on, but I wanted to focus only on the major reason, as once these are fixed or addressed in the right manner the minor issues will automatically fall into place. This is an effort to educate each sector of our society irrespective of age, gender, or religion to make marriages last long, and avoid the couple and their families from going through the humiliation and agony of divorce.
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